I could, in fact, blue screen at any moment.

It has been nearly 10 years since I have slept regularly, and 6 years since I have slept for more than 7 hours a night for an extended period of time (week). At the most exciting or stressful times, I only sleep 1-3 hours per night, usually accompanied by a grand idea that could potentially do it for me. Once my mind catches even a corner of that idea, my body snaps awake and my mind goes clear. Most times, I fall asleep at around 2am and wake up at 6am or 7am, or fall asleep at 9pm and wake up at midnight only to never go back to sleep. In any case, one thing holds true: as much as I try to satiate my character with new ideas to the point where my mind stops thinking of them, or as much as I try to put them out of my mind, it just keeps going, and usually when I wake up partially because of a full bladder or a noise in the house. At one period in my life I tried to write all the ideas down, so that my brain could "shut off" and stop thinking about it. Whoever suggested that (I don't know who) doesn't know that when I start something, I mentally can't shut off until I am utterly exhausted, both in body and in developing the idea.

In addition to a mind that grasps onto everything to TRY to make it better, I've had nightmares for nearly 10 years as well. So when I do give myself enough hours to sleep, I hit that part in the REM cycle that allows my imagination to scare me, make me feel alone, and stops me from actually resting.

In recent years I've learned to at least stay on one or three ideas at a time, which has helped me during the day to not lose my mind.

Needless to say I don't have long periods of satisfying sleep or lapses where I stop thinking of how to improve things, or make new things. Which opens up my blog to this point:

I could blue screen at any moment!

(I don't mean to start it off negative. I'm actually ok with at least 3 hours of sleep.)

I blue screened two years ago when I was "dating" the woman I'm now married to. I had so much on my mind besides breaking up with her, getting back to together and dealing with other issues that I finally shut down - for 16 hours. I slept and didn't dream, which was both surprising and enjoyable. After that I proposed to my then ex-girlfriend and we got married. I'm waiting for another collapse to help me along.

My life has come to a point again where a blue screen is a very potential happening. Throughout my blog, if anyone chooses to read it, it will probably end up being like any other letter or blog, except for the fact that my brain thinks this is a story, so it might get a little detailed, or cut off at any time. Provecho!